Friday, February 02, 2007

Traffic in the Morning and Chinese Houses

When they closed the roads recently due to some useless practices for some celebrations (this was in the morning DURING peak hours too), I was stuck in traffic for 2 whole hours before I arrived at the office. 2 questions :
  1. why must they close the roads during peak hours knowing FULL WELL that it will add to the already really bad traffic; and
  2. if they were to close the roads and it has to be during peak hours, why did they not re-direct traffic properly to minimize the traffic.
In the mist of my frustrations and moving only 2 inches per minute, I decided to wipe up my dashboard, arrange my shoes nicely, rearranged my glove compartment, found some rubbish to throw out when I see a bin later. When that was done, I was still stuck at the same place. SIGHS.

Then I started to observe people. One man was so resigned to the fact that he'll be stuck there he decided to wind down his windows and smoke. He opened a fresh new box of cigarettes, then THREW THE WRAPPING OUTTA HIS CAR. No doubt, it's not as big as a ball of rubbish but still... I'm amazed that at this day and age, where technology is so readily available, where education is found at the tip of our fingertips, where we capable of building highways and high buildings, we still have people who lack civic mindedness; simple things like not littering. Today's a cigarette wrapper, tomorrow's a tissue, who knows what's gonna happen if everyone does that. Is it because we are so caught up in "advancing" that our people's minds are not?

Then as I approached the toll area and the road widened, I noticed cars stuffed themselves into every nook they can find. My head was screaming "Don't you realize that if you don't follow the queues, you'll make traffic worse!!!!!" Cars were inches away from me, believing they can stuff through the small space between my car and the car next to me. Thankfully they believed correctly, otherwise I'll be whopping some butts by now.

Back to the office at 10.30am, I was happy that it was only 2 and a half hours to lunch break. I was back to civilization, with people who believed as strongly about littering as I do.

Yesterday I helped mom clean up her kitchen. Or should I say, clear up. As we cleared, we discovered empty glass bottles and jars from ketchups, jams and peanut butters, empty bottles we never use, empty plastic containers saved from eating McDonald's sundaes and mango puddings - which of course we never used. I prompted my mother to throw these away coz we'll NEVER use them. She finally did, but not without hesitation. I told her she's only cramping up her kitchen and she does not need these stuff. Almost had to sit her down and look her in the eye. She finally agreed with me but in the last attempt to defend her keeping those thing, she said I'd probably do the same when my turn comes and I have my own place.

I hereby declare, I'm a "throw-er". Have decided to be a few Chinese New Years ago, and will always be. Sweetie, not to worry, I will throw away things more than you do. At least I won't keep used gum! I do want to be a milimalist and I will be, whether I'm related to the chinese mentality or not. From now on, we throw away the containers of everything, from ice creams to chili sauces - why in the world would you keep them thinking you'll use them when you won't and then going through the same thing again next year?

Anyway we ended up with 2 huge bags of stuff to recycle. And that's not even the end of it.

Ok, I admit, when it comes to notes and books, I'll usually keep them eventhough I don't use them. I promise to repent.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Resolutions?

December was hectic, so January has become my December and February shall be the start of the new year, because I said so.

Let me see... my resolutions (not in order of importance) shall be:-

1) Listen to God more;
2) Care about people (especially mom and dad) more;
3) Take care of myself better;
4) Pray more! Especially for people I want to care about;
5) Practice piano (Eugene's gonna kill me if he finds out about this);
6) Keep my room clean in case of surprise visits from church family (very important!);
7) Exercise the spirit of excellance in whatever I do, although I don't feel like it;
8) Pray for boss (yuck!);
9) Care for my cell members better;
10) Watch less TV (howl!!).

That must not be all, but it'll have to do for now. Phew!

Next on my thought list is who do I want to get to know better this year. Tonnes! But I shall keep this to myself because otherwise it'll seem like it's something I have to do on my list rather than getting to know them because I sincerely care about them.

Happy new year... to me...

In All Circumstances

God loves me in the midst of everything good or bad, He defends me and is on my side, right here, right now, no matter what people say! God rocks!

1 John 4:16

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Ralph Lauren

Never buy expensive pantyhose because it will still tear like paper in the end. *frustrated*

Inactive Person

I've been labeled as "inactive" for obvious reasons. So, although it's way past my bedtime, I promised my friends that I will update my blog because they are sick and tired of seeing the same page again and again. I take all the blame and liabilities for not updating my blog. It has been so long I didn't even know they came up with a newer version.

January is usually the time I take to think about the past year, the ups and downs, how God has blessed me and start being thankful for what I have and the people I love. *It is also the time I eliminate people who are not important in my life... hehe.. kidding* But seriously, it's the time I evaluate people around me. NOT how important they are or not, but whether I've taken the effort and time to care for them and whether I've grown any closer to them.

My darling church friends came all the way to visit me tonight. That says tonnes about my relationship with them. That also made me realize that I love them so much more than I thought I did. I thought to myself, where else would I find such wonderful church family. It's true. That's the same question I've been asking since the end of last year. Questions about whether I've cared enough for my church family and whether I've neglected them unknowingly.

I have been thinking about moving on to another ministry. Spoke to the relevant people, shared with close friends, asked myself tonnes of questions. I was wondering and praying about whether I'm still called to be in the cell ministry or should I concentrate more on the Worship Ministry. But God is good and He shut doors where He didn't want me to go. There was a lot of passiveness which frustrated me a lot of times but on hindsight, He was leading me somewhere. At the moment, I'm still staying put, still thinking, still praying. I'm more confident that God will lead me in His own time, so I worry less and I wonder less nowadays.

Last year was full of things I don't want to talk about, but God reminded me of some great things too. Changing jobs, working together with incredibly talented people on the church musical, working together as a cell for Christmas (I enjoyed the gift making more than the acting), how God carried me all the way to Penang and back and how He was with me all along and helped me find favour with people, retreats with cell friends, getting to know some people a bit more and caring about them more. I also started to observe people and is more appreciative of their God given talents and different characters.

I do think this year, there'll be more exciting stuff to expect. God will do great things in us and it's for us to just expect the unexpected, as it always is with Him.

May I be taken off the "inactive list" now?

Saturday, August 26, 2006

When God seems far away

I listen to this song almost every other day... it has become one of my favourites, because Steven Curtis Chapman puts it so well.

This serves as a reminder to me that God is never really far away...

Steven Curtis Chapman
Sometimes He Comes In The Clouds

These are the places I was so sure I'd find Him
I've looked in the pages
And I've looked down on my knees
I've lifted my eyes in expectation
To see the sun still refusing to shine, but...

[Chorus:]
Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and grey
But some things can only be known
And sometimes our faith can only grow
If we can't see
So sometimes He comes in the clouds

Sometimes I see me, a sailor out on the ocean
So brave and so sure as long as the skies are clear
But when the clouds start to gatherI watch my faith turn to fear, but...

Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and grey
But some things can only be known
And sometimes our faith can only grow
If we can't see
Sometimes He comes in the rain

And we question the pain
And wonder why God can seem so far away
But time will show us
He was right there with us, and...

Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and grey
But some things can only be known
And sometimes our faith can only grow
When we can't see
So sometimes He comes in the clouds


This encourages me especially when it feels as if I can't seem to find God anywhere.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

A Refreshed Mind

Holidays either refresh you or wear you out. I'm happy to report that the recent one was truly refreshing.

Why do people travel? For me, it's to learn, experience and live a totally different culture for a while. That's why you'll seldom find my face in the pictures I take - taking pictures on my travels are mostly me trying to capture life in a foreign place. Sometimes, a foreign place may have the familiarity of home in a warm and strange way - the feeling that will make me say "I can live with this".

I had the privilege of traveling to Bangkok in the first week of August. Apart from the heat and the traffic, it was ok, I guess. Somehow, although I did try to bask in the culture of the Thai people, it did not amaze me in any bizarre way. Maybe it was the heat. But I did lots of shopping though; I never knew I could shop so much before.

Then I was able to have an extended holiday in Hong Kong a week ago. It was smack in the middle of summer (again, much to my dismay) and I must say, I don't fancy the heat much. Again, I shopped a lot, more than ever before. It was good.

I also had the opportunity to visit an old friend. I must say, it was good seeing him again. Somehow, picking up where we left off came naturally. Then I got to thinking about people around me, the people that God had placed in my life. The choice I have to make with regard to every single one of them, whether to make a difference or to pass it off as just another person. To choose to make a difference if of course a noble choice, but it is often the most difficult to make coz it involves time and energy. But if God wanted to use me to make a difference, who am I to say I lack the time or energy?

After that it was off to Shanghai to visit two more friends. By this time, I was feeling extremely blessed. I was feeling that God is speaking to me, eventhough I wasn't really asking. I knew I was seeking in my heart, but I didn't really ask Him. He reached out to me anyway and I thank Him for it. I keep thinking and evaluating my life, where I want to be, where He wants me to be, why I'm here now, etc etc. That He has His perfect timing although we question it, even when we know in our heads that He knows far better than we do.

Being overseas for so many days re-lit the desire I have to leave this place and live life in a foreign country. It takes tonnes of effort and stamina to want to move out of this comfortable place called home - it's much easier to just be comfortable and get on with life. But that's not what I want. I don't want to just be comfortable. I want to experience things, see things, learn things - things that I will never experience, see or learn if I stayed in the comfort of just being where I am.

But again, God has His own timing and plans for me. For us. Being back home has somewhat left me feeling melancholic, but I guess that's normal. That's the feeling everyone gets once play time's over. It's now time to work hard - in a new place with new opportunities and tonnes of uncertainties. That's how we learn, I guess.