New Year Niceties

It's 15 minutes to the end of the last working day of year 2005 and I two nice things have happened today that I'd like to remember:-

1. Someone told me that I am a good lawyer, that I can do this, properly and perfectly; that if ever I think I am a bad solicitor, it will only be because of my own laziness (to which I agree, the laziness part, I mean);
2. Sweetie personally delivered to me a new year rose! It was both surprising and touching. I'd say 2005 hasn't been such a bad year;
   
3. Closer to my heart, cell was wonderful, cell members were nice in so many ways, we had a great Christmas play, great friends who are fun and encouraging, some great colleagues who have become great friends.
   

Resolutions? I don't believe in them, but if there were any, it would be:-

1. More dicipline to make time for God;
2. Learning to love even when it hurts / it's hard to;
3. Contributing more to family life;
4. Learning the most I can from this job;
5. Finding out more about what I really wanna be, as a lawyer and as a Christian.

I Remember

I remember waking up in the morning under my duvet, unwilling to get out because I know it will be cold and I was really cozy beneath.

I remember having everything within my reach, because my room was small and cozy and I liked it that way.

I remember the walk to the West Entrance, against the icy cold winds of the fall, taking my heavy coat off halfway during the journey because I would be sweating from walking for almost 15 minutes already.

I remember going into warm lecture halls, the feeling of my cheeks getting rosy because I just got in from the cold.

I remember the walk to the Oasis on Sunday mornings; I would have woken up only half an hour ago because the walk to the Oasis is barely 5 minutes. I remember walking into the warm hugs of my english mother and the moments when she would hold me, cold ears, fingers and all, just so that I would feel warm, inside and out.

I remember the shopping trips on Beeston Highstreet, going into secondhand shops, the littlest Dorothy Perkins I've ever seen and the tiny drugstores along the way. I remember the lil' morning market where I could get garlic; 5 bulbs for 50p - the cheapest I could ever find.

I remember going to Sainsbury with Li, resolving only to window shop, but always ending up with two big bags too much for us to carry.

I remember walking through University Park in the spring to find cherry blossoms everywhere - even in places you never notice.

I remember the cookouts with Li, and Sher would observe and talk to us in the kitchen, and Seems will cook her indian specialties, and we would all laugh at each other.

I remember the walk to the Oasis on Fridays to help out with the kitchen, where my english mum would cook up a storm, and eventhough I didn't feel happy, I would....... eventually. I remember not feeling like helping out, and english mum said it was ok.

I remember 44, the gathering of friends, the exchanges, the catching up, watching MTV and doing nothing.

It was a time when friends were as close as we get, when I get to spend all my free time with people I love, when english hospitality is at its best, when church was never boring, when worship songs were almost the same week after week but it never ceased to touch me, when everywhere I go, I walk, when neighbours were good friends, when I was closest to God.

I will never forget.

Mornings

I was rushing on my way to church for practice this morning, and a thought suddenly crossed my mind - maybe church starting at 9am is not such a good idea after all. Having church at 9am means having practice at 8am (which is really the time practice should start if we want to have real practice), which also means I've gotta wake up at 6.45am to get ready and drive from where I live to where church is (not near at all).

Then later another thought crossed my mind - church ended at 12noon and beyond. Which means service lasted for more than three hours. Is that a good thing?

I used to go to my former church which service starts at 8.45am. Now, that's relatively early, even earlier than now. But we always ended at 10.30am, or on later days, 11am. And, this church is in KL, about 10 mins drive from where I live. But this is merely circumstantial, of course.

I searched my heart. Is this my flesh speaking? Just coz I can't wake up early enough to make it most of the time, I'm I having doubts that it's not a good thing after all? Or is it really not a good thing for me? Am I being selfish? Am I the only one thinking this?

Being able to go to work at partially flexible hours do not help my mornings. (Partially flexible meaning so long at it's not too late and preferably before 10am). I never really get to work on time. Which means more time to sleep, and if you know me well enough, sleep is important to me. So if I never wake up early on usual days, it would be harder to wake up on a Sunday, of course. Is that the problem then?

This is the struggle in my mind of late. I guess the question I need to ask and pray about (before talking to someone about it) is whether having church at 9am is good for the general congregation. Are people really benefitting? Since this change is done in view of encouraging more prayer time, are we all really praying more? Or is it just a matter of an earlier and longer service?

Just some Blah

I'm writing this on Sweetie's new laptop, and it's not easy. But it's really tiny, versatile, compact, convenient (notwithstanding the occasional minor electric shocks while the thing is charging - well, you can't have everything....).

The holidays so far has been rather relaxing and fun. Good time to catch up with friends and family... more friends than family actually. Before I know it, it will be time to get back to work. Sob sob....

We visited LC yesterday. It was really good. She's expecting her baby next month. Wow... one of us... having a baby soon... so sureal. We had a good prayer time together. It's funny how it is with friends who share the faith - you never contact them for years, but once you do, it's like we are still able to share our innermost concerns because we know in our hearts we understand that above all, God knows exactly what we need. All we have to do is to commit to Him and remind each other to commit to Him.

Nothing else really interesting other than that, I think. Nothing worth writing about. No profound thoughts (that I can recall... yet...).

Just one lazy afternoon hanging out with Sweetie and being together. Yawn.

Rules, rules, rules

Are rules and regulations made to be broken? Is it for us non rule makers to say "Hey, it's a stupid rule, so why should I obey it?"

I've always believed that when a rule is made, it is made based on an underlying reason. The authorities did not wake up one morning and say, "Hey, let's torture the people and make a rule to annoy them!"

For example, a no entry area exist probably because either something bad has happened before, or that the road is really far too narrow. Household rules are made so that the household can run properly. The Legal Profession rulings exist to preserve the dignity of the profession. And so on and so forth.

Problem is, some rules go against the wants of some of us. Maybe it's inconvenient, maybe it's not conducive for business, maybe it costs more to obey them.

Let's see what the Bible says... hmm... hmm... where's that verse.....

"1 Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.

Titus 3:1"

"17 Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.

Hebrews 13:17"

Of course, all this is subject to any rules made contrary to God's laws, which reign supreme in our lives. The Bible never said obey only if it's convenient for you, or doesn't make you lose money.

So yes, God says obey them rules, even if they are stupid. One day, one might discover that the rule is not that stupid after all and ignoring/disobeying it may prove fatal.

I'm going to let me superiors down and tell them I want to obey the ruling instead of ignoring it like the rest of the world. If they think I'm being stupid or unco-operative, that's their problem. I feel that God is prompting me to do the right thing.

And now, I only pray for courage. I only live for God, not work, not money, not even my parents. Only with God as my courage, I will walk free.

Workplace Relationships

I stumbled upon this website; http://www.christianitytoday.com/workplace/. Thought it will be a good read to keep me from compromising my faith at work.

Recently, I've learnt not to reveal my true self to people especially at work. It's really a sad state to be in, but perhaps necessary to protect oneself.

The place where I work is wrought with people who are not really interested being better and learning the trade. I feel that most of them just want to get through the day. Of course, there will be days when I want to just get through the day, but I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot waste time and must learn as much as I can.

However, being in such an environment is not always conducive for learning. For example, if I am suppose to deal with a file, I might try my level best to deal with it, while people who are appointed to assist me may just leave me to do every single thing. Or they may just tell themselves not to worry their little minds, I'll do everything in the end.

Which makes me wonder whether I'm actually learning or just picking up after people coz they refuse to do their part. It saddens me as I'm writing this, because I might have wasted three hours out of nine just trying to do other people's work.

What will Jesus do? I really don't know. Jesus exerted His authority over people and had to be hard on them when they disobeyed eventhough He loved them. Like the time when He went into the temple and was angry as the people had misused His Father's house.

And that is precisely what I'm struggling to do. To keep good work relationships but at the same time be hard on my staff. Not take work related things personally. I'd like to believe I'm at least a quarter there.

I've also learnt that not everyone is who they seem to be. Perhaps that's why you can't really make real friends at work. It's rare to have a friend-colleague, but I thank God I do have one. (And if he is reading this, stop grinning!)

Sigh.... you learn something new everyday. In the end, you will come out stronger and wiser. And I'll just have to hold on to that for the time being.

For Lucy

Dear Lucy,

Welcome to the world!! Your daddy sent me some pictures of you - gosh you are tiny. I'm so glad you are finally here.

You'd probably not meet me anytime soon due to the distance between us. But I think of you, and that's why I am writing. Thought I'd share with you some of the great experiences I had in Nottingham where you live; when daddy and mommy was in the same homegroup as I.
Daddy and mommy never fails to update me with what's happening over where you live. So exciting. Daddy did say he was going to come to Malaysia for a quick visit, but because you were on the way, he didn't. But please come!! When you are old enough to travel, you must come here, you hear? If daddy and mommy forgets that they were supposed to pay me a visit, you remind them, ok? (By the way, your daddy laughed at me coz I drink tea without milk - he promised to send me tea from England, but I have yet to receive it. You must defend me and annoy him by drinking tea without milk ok?

You must have already met Pat and Bob - they are wonderful people. When you finally grow teeth, you must ask Pat to cook for you. Trust me on this one. She can whip up a storm in seconds. I miss them so much. Every Sunday morning at the Oasis, they greet me with a warm hug. This is especially nice when it was winter time and I was all 'frozen' from the cold. God bless them.

You'll love the Oasis. When you enter, there is a certain warmth (and I'm not talking about the 'heater warmth' here) that you cannot explain. God spoke to me so many times there. I can still imagine in my head how Oasis looks like. And the kitchen; where I spent most of my Friday evenings helping out.

You are so lucky to be living in the suburbs. I love the suburbs. Here in Kuala Lumpur, city life is rather hectic. It's harder to say hello to people you meet on the street coz it doesn't feel as safe as it does in Beeston. At the moment now, we are battling the haze due to forest fires in Indonesia. The Air Polution Index is at the hazardous level at the moment. It's hard to breathe, coz there is no fresh air. People are advised to stay indoors and not go out unnecessarily.
Please ask daddy, mommy, Bob and Pat to pray for us here in KL ok? I wish I was in England. At least it will be cold, nice and fresh. Trust me, you'd rather have the cold than this.

Anyway, meanwhile it's back to work as usual. Take care, Luc. If I get a chance, I'll certainly come visit you. Send my love to daddy and mommy.

Love,
Me