I now pronounce you...

Now that the vows have been said, the decorations have been put away, the place has been made cozy, it is the natural progression of things that the stories about married life start. This is when everyone asks the golden question "So how is married life?" It's an easy question to ask, but certainly not an easy one to answer.

I'd like to say, it's really not bad. Really. To those people who say that you'll get annoyed a lot, you'll fight a lot, or you'll get irritated because he squeezes the toothpaste the wrong way or leaves the toilet seat down, shame on you. That's hardly even a quarter of what married life is about.

There are a million things to say, but today, I'd like to talk about just one.

I've been observing people to see why their marriages work wonderfully and why they are happy or why they don't seem to be happy. It's amazing observing how people treat each other, how they show love, and how they respect each other.

I observed something very obvious about the couples I'd like to emulate - the women do not dictate/nag their men in public. All you see the wife do is respect him, in what he does, what he says, whether or not he looks stupid, whether or not he's offensive. She doesn't diss him in public, nor argue with him in front of others.

So does this mean wives have to agree with whatever their husband says?

Not so (thankfully!!). I learnt from him that, a good marriage is based on having the same foundation, or the word he uses, the same platform. Our platform is simply, that we are not married to each other to condemn, but to build up. So whatever we do, however we feel, it's based on this. So I've learnt that whilst the husband may be wrong or silly or offensive, telling him off in public is not going to build him up. Not only that, telling him off in public mirrors disrespect. Its like how you won't want your best friend to tell you that you have on an ugly dress in front of the guy she likes, for example.

However, telling him in love and in private does build him up. Make sense?

It makes a world of sense to me. But now comes the hard part - doing it. It's a long and difficult learning process (how can one resist telling one's spouse that he/she is really making fool of himself, so please stop it right now?)

However, I am very fortunate because God gave me this wonderful, patient and tolerable man. He understands that it's not easy for prideful lil' me. He stands by me as I struggle to hold my tongue and focus on the platform.

He's not perfect either, but he's mine.