First Love

I am meeting up soon with my first ever boyfriend, and I'm really happy about it. Not because I've not gotten over him, but because I'm so glad that we are still friends despite all that hurt we have gone through breaking up.

They say you never forget your first love, and I suspect they are right. I remember a lot of the stuff he used to say to me which made me feel really good inside. After all, he was the first guy to say stuff like that to me. I also remember the nights of crying when we broke up (for three whole months!!!). It was really horrid, and I all I could do was ask God why.

The thing was, he wasn't a Christian, and he couldn't understand why God is so important to me. And I couldn't take that. God however gave me the courage to to give up the "feeling good inside" and reminded me who my real First Love is. Was it hurtful? Of course. I'd be lying if I said it was painless.

But today, when I think about it, I realize that there would be so many things I'd have to give up if I was still with him. And there were so many things he did I didn't agree with. The magic is that despite all that, we are still friends until today. And I thank God with all my heart for knowing what's best for me and giving me the courage to do what I knew was right.

Today, I have another friend who is going out with a non-Christian. Will I tell her to break up with him? I don't know. Perhaps if my friend and I weren't a couple before, we may not be as good friends as we are now. But because we were, we hurt each other a lot in the past. The one thing I remember vividly is that God kept reminding me to look at the bigger picture. Somehow, I knew at the back of my head that that relationship wasn't going to go anywhere. Yet, I wanted to keep that feeling. I wanted to love and be loved. For the first time in my life. It wasn't easy to fight with that feeling (being the foolish romantic I am).

So, I guess my answer to the friend going out with the non-Christian is a compromised one; be friends with him. Be a really good friend, if you want. Share the gospel with him, no strings attached. Who knows, he may come to know Christ. Only when he does, then consider going out with him. But before that, don't even think about it. You'll go through a lot of tough times when you become a 'couple'. Already, having a Christian boyfriend has its own struggles. Don't put yourself in a position to hurt yourself even more. Oh yeah, and pray like crazy!!

Today, I will never forget that, whatever said and done, my First Love is only One. The One who will never leave me. The One who cares for me more than any mortal will ever be able to. The One who gives me peace and rest in the midst of turbulence. The One who will always be there eventhough I make excuses not to spend time with Him. Most of all, the One who knows what is BEST for me.