I had a discussion with someone regarding how easily we critize things, people and circumstances, when in the first place, we never really cared. This is especially to do with people.
It's really easy to jump into conclusions, like that person should and should not do this and that. It's easy to match the circumstances and come to our own rationalisation. Is he/she not coming to church? Oh, then he/she must be backsliding. Is he/she not attending cell? (Either) He/she has given up 'godly' things for 'worldly' things (or) His/her cell leader/group is not functioning. They should be doing this and that.....
Now imagine for a moment being in the receiving end of all this. Discouraged is tired, he has served much, he has given much. All this time, no one ever asked Discouraged if he was doing fine, if he was getting enough support, how his spiritual life is. So long as Discouraged kept quiet, Discouraged is ok (or so it seems, at least). Discouraged continues to serve faithfully, and gives and gives.
It comes to a point when Discouraged breaks down. Does anyone care? Do I really have to shout my lungs out for love and care? Discouraged tries to console himself - I'm doing this for God. He is my driving force. He will help me. He will see that I'm ok. Discouraged prays and prays. He really doesn't know what else to do, but to just surrender himself and his ministry to God.
But there was still no encouragement. Perhaps God sent some, but he sure didn't see it. It came to the last straw. Discouraged couldn't take it anymore. He prays 'Lord, I need a break. I need rest. Please help them understand'. So he goes and takes a break from his ministry.
This is the time when the people around him (who, undoubtedly, never really cared to ask about him or his ministry - all they knew was he was there and it was all taken care of) started to see that he decided to 'quit'. Why is he quitting? Isn't he doing well? He shouldn't blame anyone for not giving him this and that, he never asked for it. He should pray about it first before making such a drastic move. He should......
Discouraged gets more discouraged, and it will take him a while before he is able to give again. Even so, during this period, people around him say "I think he's strayed. He used to be such a good leader. Maybe his relationship with God is not going too well. Shame."
Suddenly, I find myself agreeing with my discussion partner about not judging if we didn't care in the first place. I'm sure I've done that one time or another-judging people when I didn't really know what was going on. Really damaging stuff. We really need to examine ourselves and our tongues - are we speaking love and encouragement, or are we making ourselves judges on this earth?
This does not concern ministry alone. Even things we do everyday at home and at work. Words and glances we give to our parents, our siblings, our friends and colleagues. Words and glances we receive from them.
I've also been in the receiving end. It hurts really badly, eventhough judgemental words do not come directly from our mouths. Glances alone are enough to bring one's heart crashing down. If only they knew. If only they cared enough to ask. If only they remember that I'm human and have feelings too.
So yeah... unless we cared, take note of what we are going to say. We may hurt the other person without even knowing it. The worst thing is, we may never know the damage we may have caused by saying it.
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